Hello. I'm Socar Myles, and I hate writing artist's statements. I've got to be honest--I really loathe these things. "Will draw for food," see, that'd be the honest way to go, but it's not exactly inspiring, is it? "I like to draw rats" would also work, but I'm sure there's a problem with that, too. Not flowery enough, or some-such. Not rich, or whimsical, or any of those things people seem to expect.

At any rate, I'm completely pants with artist's statements, so instead of writing one, I'm simply going to post two lists: one of stuff I like to draw, and one of stuff I don't:

THINGS I LIKE TO DRAW

* Rats
* Roots
* Interesting foliage
* People turning into trees
* People not turning into trees
* Interesting drapery
* People interestingly draped
* Wrinkly people and animals
* Water
* Birds
* Waterbirds
* Animals of any description, except for horses (horses smell!)
* Snails
* Zombies
* Funny-looking houses
* Silly-looking flying-machines

THINGS I COULD GO MY WHOLE LIFE WITHOUT DRAWING, AND NOT COMPLAIN

* Horses
* Babies and small children (their faces look like squashed plasticine)
* Ordinary-looking houses and vehicles
* Superheroes
* Skyscrapers that look like giant crackerboxes
* Celebrities

Lists subject to change without notice. I may, at any time, draw anything at all. Even horses.

Also, I live in Vancouver (BC, not WA), have two rats (Rat A and Rat B), and hate board games. My favourite food is soup. My favourite colours are red, brown, and yellow, in that order. I have a Scottish accent, which I try to hide. People think I can speak Swedish, because I once lived in Umeå, but I really can't. Unless, of course, you need someone to talk about nostrils. Or fleas. Or fleas that live in nostrils. I can hold forth pretty well on giant rats, too, but if you're ever in Sweden, and I'm there too, and you run into me on the street, don't ask for directions.